Sunday, September 18, 2011

I saw her last night

I got out of the shower and was standing naked in my bedroom. I raised my arms to pull my hair up and out of my face and I caught a glimpse of her in the full length mirror. I turned to look and there she was, in the mirror, looking back at me! She stood there with her long legs and narrow but noticable hips, She had a nice hourglass figure with a distinct waist and small, perky breasts. I began to weep. Tears of joy ran down my face as I stood in awe at the woman looking back at me. She is beautiful. I am beautiful.

When I began HRT, the first change I noticed was an emotional and mental calm. What I was doing felt right to me. I was excited and happy. The first few weeks found me constantly checking my measurments and looking in the mirror for any physical changes. A few weeks into it, I realized these changes weren't going to happen overnight and so I stopped with the constant check-ins and decided that the mental and emotional changes are what is most important and that any physical changes would just be icing on the cake. Over the last few months, I have noticed subtle changes in a compartmentalized kind of way. One day I'd notice how my hips had widened when I sat in my office chair, another my arm would brush against my budding breast as I reached for something or someone would comment on the subtle changes in my face. It wasn't until last night that I saw the big picture. I stood there naked, without a padded bra or heels or make up or jewelry and I saw the physical manifestation of Charlotte, and she is beautiful!

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Tan Lines

I love tan lines. I think they are so sexy. I am fortunate to have lived on a couple of very nice beaches in my life and I think it was there that I learned to appreciate the tan line. I love to tan and can get a very nice, deep tan if given the opportunity. However, I've never tanned as a woman. This summer I didn't get outside much due to extenuating circumstances, so I'm considering a tanning membership. So now the question is, what kind of tan lines do I go for?


I adore the look of bikini tan lines on a natural chest.

I am very intrigued by bottom only tan lines.
I may end up doing this.

The only thing is, Ma'am doesn't like tan lines. She thinks they are trashy. She would love for me to tan, but she doesn't want the lines. I've explained that unless I lay out nude (which is highly unlikely around here) or buy a tanning membership, then I'm going to get lines. Now keep in mind, I look very good in a bikini. So which lines to get?

Standard bikini lines?
Micro bikin lines?
Bottom only?

Here's your chance to weigh in.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Hey Y'all!

So, 5 1/2 months on HRT and loving every minute of it! My breasts are coming in nicely. I'm nearly a b cup! My hips are filling in as well and my face has changed too. I was looking at pictures of me from before starting all of this and man, what a difference! The thing I'm most happy about though, is that I'm happy and emotionally stable. I was worried I'd get into this and feel like I made a huge mistake.

I'm out full time, even at work. Thank God I work for an awesome company that is supportive and understanding. And I love, love, LOVE wearing women's clothing all the time. About 95% of my coworkers are women. Black women at that and the only reason I point that out is because here in the Dirty South, black women are known for wearing fabulous shoes. That being said, I've been labled by some as the girl with the fierce shoes!! I love my collection of heels. I can't wait for winter so I can wear stockings and tights and boots. Mmmmmm... boots.

I'm dating! I even have a girlfriend and she is awesome. Even though she's known me for years as my male self, we really didn't hang out that much. A couple of months ago, we bumped into each other at a leather convention, had some really hot play and exchanged numbers. It's been pretty hot and heavy ever since. Things between us look promising. She is a lifestyle domme, kinky and very sadistic and super sexy and smart and funny and communicative and patient, and passionate, intuitive, and empathic, and wickedly creative. Plus she has a shoe collection that is to die for!!! (and we wear the same size shoe!!!!) She treats me with kindness and respect and makes me feel sexy, beautiful and feminine.

Sex since transition has been interesting, to say the least! It is good, very good in fact, but very different. I would almost say that my libido is non existent, but that really isn't the case. It's just different than what I've been used to for the last 28 years since hitting puberty as a boy. As a boy, the need for sex was ever present. Always just under the surface, bubbling and boiling and building and looking for that release valve. Always needing that release. Never quite satisfied or satieated. Now though, that constant feeling of need to release is not there. While I do think about sex now, it's not as often nor is it as generalized. It's more focused and directed. I don't masturbate nearly as much now either. But let me tell you. When I get around my girlfriend and she flips that switch, it's on! Sex is fierce and passionate and hotter than it ever was as a boy. I can orgasm in ways I never could before and many times. It's like my whole body is an erogenous zone now and sex and pleasure are not centered around my genitals. It's mental and emotional, like a fire that slowly builds and consumes me from the inside-out.

Also, I have come to realize that I'm jstill as big of a masochist as I ever was. I just process the pain differently now. And I cry, which is amazing. I still have all the same kinks and fetishes I had before and it has been fun figuring out how to participate in and incorporate those activities into my sex life as a trans girl. It helps that I have a partner who understands and is just as adventurous and creative and open minded as I am.

All of that being said, I could use some dick! :)

Saturday, June 4, 2011

That Cherry Popped

I received my first facial last night! It was heavenly!!

It was at a freind's birthday party. He's a beautiful subbie boy who is owned by a lesbian couple. His Daddy gripped a hand full of my hair and held it on his stomach while he was allowed to jerk off. (He's not allowed to cum that often)

His hot cum splashed across my cheek and into my hair then dirbbled down across my lips where I could taste it. I love the taste of cum and have always swallowed. This time though, I just laid there, my head on his rock hard tummy, feeling it on my face, all hot a gooey. I dipped my fingers in it and rubbed it in, not wanting the feeling to end.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Making out, snogging, whatever you call it!

God I love a good make out session. Long passionate kisses until your lips go numb. Hands exploring and roming while tongues wrestle in the confines of hot, steamy mouths. Kissing to me, is the ultimate foreplay. Few things get me hotter than a steamy make out session with a good kisser.

I've made out with boys and girls and while I find kissing men to be very hot, they generally can't hold a candle to women. Women just seem to be better at kissing. I've yet to make out with another trans girl and I hope I get the chance.

Before I transitioned, I was told on many occasions that I kiss like a girl!

Happy Friday, y'all!!

Saturday, April 16, 2011


It's been a while since I've posted, I know. I've been busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest! Since I posted last, I've had surgery to implant a hearing device to correct my hearing loss, my house has gone under contract to sell, my wife and I have split up and she has moved out, I've been on HRT, I've packed and moved my stuff into storage, and I've signed a lease on an apartment.

So lets break it down.

1) I have conductive hearing loss and there is a device to correct it. It's called a BAHA or Bone Anchored Hearing Aid. There is a procedure to implant a titanium stud and snap in my skull just behind my ear and a digital sound processor is snapped to it. It takes sound, apmlifies it and then transmits it to the stud (or abutment is the medical term), which then uses the bones in my skull to transmit the sound to my auditory nerve, bypassing the non-existent bones in my middle ear. Pretty cool technology, if I do say so myself, and the difference is absolutely amazing! Plus it is programable, has three different setting for different environments, has volume and most importantly and off switch! It's a noisy world out there. If you want more info on it, check out the manufacturere's web site here: CochlearAmericas

The proverbial loose screw!

2)A year ago we put out house up for sale. We finally got an offer two months ago. We first listed it at $214,900. We went under contract at $150,000. The market here in Atlanta sux! We've lived in this house for more than a decade and have done a whole bunch of work. I redesigned and built the kitchen myself, including adding an island, and custom cabinets and a pantry. It's hard to see it go. It was our dream, we made it ours, and our child was brought home to it and has spent all of her life growing in this home. It's been emotionally rough. Lots of tears shed, but ultimately, we are excited at what the future may bring; if it ever closes. The buyer is beeing douche, the contractor we hired to do some work for the buyer is an idiot and the government is delaying closing 8 days because the buyer didn't get his paperwork in on time. We were supposed to close on 4/15. It's been one of the most stressfull ordeals I've had to deal with. I want it to be over.

I made that!

2) Through all of this, my wife and I have decided to split up. We've been in counseling and therapy and because of that, we've been able to navigate our separation through all of this with grace and dignity. It's a sucky situation, but we are making the best of it. We continue to love and respect one another and dedicate our lives to our child. We simply realize that we are very different people who want very different things in life and together, we would never be able to live to our full potential. I'm not saying it has been easy. There has been alot of tears, alot of anger, much confusion and a whole heap of grief. But we are working through it all, together.

3) HRT has been AMAZING! I've been on 4mg of Estradiol, 200mg of Spironolactone, and 1.25mg of Finasteride. Last week my doctor upped the dosage to 6mg of Estradiol and 5mg of Finasteride. We are waiting for the results of my blood work to test testosterone levels to see if we should increse the Spiro. I feel the changes, in my body and mind; and I love it! It took 4 weeks before I began to feel any physical effects. The first thing I noticed were my thighs began to fill out. Then my hips seemed slightly fuller and finally, I began to feel my breasts change. They grew tender and the area behind my nipples grew harder and more tender and in the last week or so, my breasts have plumped slightly! They actually bounce when I run down stairs and it's an amazing feeling! My erections have gotten softer and only happen when I stroke my clitty. My testes have shrunk considerably and my ejaculate is almost non-existant. What is there is clear and watery. My skin is softer and clearer and more sensitive, my butt is a little bigger and my face is changing ever so slightly! I've also gotten bigger in my tummy and my tricep area has gotten flabby! As a man, I had very defined and large triceps due to the type of work I did. Now they flap a little, but I'm ok with it. For now.
Emotionally, I feel calm and peacefull. I've always been more sensitive and emotional than most guys, but also prone to outbursts of anger and lost my temper easily. I haven't lost my temper at all since starting HRT. Instead, now I cry. And if feels good. Crying is such a release of negative emotion and therefore cleansing. Much more so than loosing ones temper.

I want to be the blonde

3 & 4) 90% of my stuff is in storage. I've signed a lease on an apartment and it will be ready on the 25th. I'm so excited to have a space of my own to grow in. To blossom in and to really discover the woman inside of me. I have an idea of the type of woman I want to become, but I realize it won't happen overnight. It's going to be nice to have a space of my own to develop her and allow her to grow unencumbered. I'm very excited and can't wait to get out of this house which is devoid of furniture but full of memories.
I love this vanity

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

It's official!!

I started HRT yesterday!!! I am now on a full dose of Estriadol, Spironolactone, and Finasteride, under the watchful eye of my doctor of course. I went out completely femme for the first time ever in broad daylight yesterday too. I went to my doctor's appointment then to Target to get my prescriptions filled and did a little shopping. I bought a new bra too! It was amazing to finally be able to present myself to the world.

There's no stopping me now!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


This morning at work, I got up to use the restroom. Once in there, I sat to pee like I always do. A moment later, in walked one of my co-workers and began peeing in the stall next to mine. I closed my eyes and listened as his golden stream splashed into the water of the bowl. My imagination got the better of me and i began to imagine him sliding his thick, black cock through a hole in the divider. I imagined it having a tiny drop of piss clinging to it. I imagined me opening my mouth and sliding my tongue under and tasting his salty piss as I enveloped his manhood with my mouth. As I imagined his cock touching the back of my throat the most amazing thing actually happened: my little clitty began leaking copious amounts of pre-cum. Quickly I moved my hand under so I could catch the sticky liquid. It ran freely and coated my fingers as I flexed my PC muscle. When the flow subsided, I brought my fingers to my lips and began sucking the tasty juice from my coates digits. It was delectible!! I was in heaven and quickly became aware that I was making very loud sucking noises! I cleaned my fingers completely and tucked my wet little clitty back in my thong and made my way to the sink to wash my hands. I don't know when the man left, but the restroom was empty. As I made my way back to my desk, I could feel more sticky wetness on my inner thighs, on my taint and in between my cheeks where my clitty stays tucked away so neatly.

Now, eating lunch, I'm loving the feeling that's happening in my panties!

Which are thongs, BTW!
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Tuesday, February 22, 2011


I'm sooooo fucking horny right now. It's been forever since I've had any kind of sexual relief other than rubbing my own clitty and fucking my ass, which I LOVE! But I'm craving human contact. I want a real cock in my ass, preferably thick and black! Or a wet pussy to lick and suck and thrust my fingers into. Really, I'm not picky!

In other news, I go see my doc next Wednesday to evaluate my blood tests and hormone levels and give him my magic letter. If all goes as planned, he should prescribe me hormones and I'll be on my way to becomming the woman I've always dreamed of being!! I can't begin to tell you how excited I am about this. I've started telling my friends and so far they've all been like, "Well duh!"

So wish me luck!!

Monday, January 31, 2011

One HOT fucking video!


I don't normally like captions, but this one got me VERY hot.

I love that position.
For every reason shown here. I love to kiss my lovers. I love the feeling of their tongues in my mouth and their cocks in my ass. I love to feel their weight spreading me apart, and pushing me down. I love to look into their eyes as they slide their cocks into me. I love knowing they can see the pain and pleasure their manhood is inflicting upon me. I love being able to wrap my legs and arms around them and draw them closer and deeper onto me. And when their thrusting becomes hurried, their breathing becomes more rapid and the veins begin to bulge slightly on their necks and foreheads; I love to watch as they throw their heads back, grunting and moaning and howling as they unload all of their pent up manhood into me.